Big Bird Footprint Sighting

(originally posted 5/14/2009)

I was playing with my son at a local playground when I was very disturbed to see these foot prints.

suspicious animal tracks

Not very interesting yet, but wait

tracks next to a women's size 9 trainer

Next to a size 9 trainer, these footprints begin to look suspicious (and alarming) indeed.  I looked around for any sign of yellow feathers but alas, there were none. Or maybe that’s a good thing.

See, I thought Big Bird was safely tucked away in a prison on the east coast after being convicted of being a terrorist.  I heard that he was the head of a  cell of birds who commit suicide attacks against airplanes in the form of bird strikes.  There have been an increasing number of planes disabled by birds lately.

There are only rumors of the group’s goals.  I heard they waterboarded Big Bird in Guantanamo but he wouldn’t talk.  There’s also a rumor that he was kept, for a while, in Dick Cheney’s man-sized safe.

All I know is that I don’t feel safe knowing that he could be lurking around the park where I take my children to play.  I wish the housing market would bounce back so I could move somewhere safer.

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