Slave to Fashion

(originally posted 7/7/2009)

I’m looking through this damn fashion magazine and seeing the new trends which are definitely not for women built like me (or actually, any woman who still relies on eating for nourishment).

I swear, who invented the maxi dress?  These are only for elementary school teachers and giants.  There is no way for a normal woman to wear a maxi dress without looking totally stumpy.

Genie pants? Seriously? I remember those knit MC Hammer pants from when I was a freshman.  I had a powder blue pair.  And every time I wore them, I got pantsed! I’m so glad that I wore cute little bikini panties.  I will never wear those pants again, and not just because I’d have to do a panty check every time I left the house (no one needs to see my pasty butt in a thong), but because they’d make my hips look as wide as the back of a truck.

And rompers? Really? When the outfit makes the model look 6 months pregnant, what chance does a normally proportioned woman have?  The only beings that can get away with rompers are infants and toddlers.  Once one has successfully completed potty training, rompers are no longer cute.

As Nancy Reagan used to say “Just Say NO”!


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