Attack of the Killer Ground Hog

(originally posted 7/30/2009)

My husband and I have been pushing how far we can reasonably go on our bikes.  I’ll never be a great athlete, but I like push myself sometimes.

So, this past Sunday, my husband and I decided that we would bike to our favorite coffee shop which is a little over 5 miles away.  That’s not too bad, a ten mile bike ride.  The only thing I was a little hesitant about was a stretch that is particularly steep.  But hey, that’s the challenge part.

The ride to the coffee shop was uneventful and went quickly.  I was happy to have my monkey coffee drink.  I forget exactly what it was called but it was a frozen drink and there was peanut butter involved.  Yummy.

The ride back was pretty hard.  It was almost all uphill (seriously, I’m not just saying that) and there are parts of that trip where the incline is really steep.  And on the way back, the wind started blowing really hard.  By the time we were half way home, I was exhausted, and also pretty sure that I’d worked off the majority of the calories that I’d consumed at the coffee shop.  Even with all the wind, I was dripping sweat (it was not pretty).

About two-thirds of the way back, the incline levels out (and a little closer to home, it is downhill).  When we got to this point, I turned around to make some silly joke to my husband (and to make sure he was still behind me, he’s old, I might’ve lost him!).  When I turned back around to look where I was going, I saw this massive ground hog about five feet from where I was (and I was closing in fast).  I’m not afraid of ground hogs (even though this one was the size of a medium sized dog), but it startled me, and I screamed (I assure you that it was a manly scream).

Well, my scream startled the ground hog (and my husband), and the ground hog turned around and ran right into my husband’s path!  We really were going at a good speed and my husband had no time to stop.  He ran over this ground hog with both tires!!!!!!  Seriously, the thing was pretty big.  I would’ve been thrown from my bike.  But my husband managed to hold on.  I think he had a minor heart attack, but he managed to make it home.

He refuses to allow me to ride first if we go on anymore bike rides.  He says he always ends up hurt (last year, we went to visit some friends and my husband got run off of the road and fell off his bike – I’m such a goof, I didn’t even notice.  I turned around and finally noticed that he wasn’t behind me anymore.  I had to go back and find him.  He was ok though, just a little banged up).

If I were my husband, I’d be more worried about the ground hog.  You’ve seen those movies, someone gets hit (although it’s usually by a car) and they are always out for revenge.

I saw some strange shapes outside last night.  And this morning I found odd markings on the door.  I heard the cat muttering something about getting out “while the getting’s good” and “not getting paid enough to deal with this crap”.   All I know is, it wasn’t me that ran over that ground hog.  I’m going to be sleeping on the couch.  I don’t want to become collateral damage.


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