Fashion No No

I wore a pair of super cute tights to my aunt’s house last fall.   It’s really hard to find cute brown tights.  I like textures (I actually prefer the textured thigh high ones) and anything that makes them different enough that I don’t feel like a 5 year old on Easter with my stupid white tights that keep creeping down so that the crotch ends up between my knees.

Anyway, I was wearing a pair of super cute brown tights and my aunt’s dog jumped up and made a huge hole in the thigh.  I went back to the store where I’d bought them but they were sold out.  So a few weeks later, my aunt gave me this pair of cute crocheted tights.  They are adorable, but not as cute as the ruined pair.  So, I put them in the back of a drawer and let them sit.

This morning I pulled them out to wear with this cute little tiny, tiny mini skirt I bought this past weekend (I figured tights are the only way I can try and pretend that this skirt is appropriate to wear to work).  And I start pulling them on and realize that they are footless tights! UGH!

NO ONE over 15 should EVER wear footless tights.  In fact, it should be illegal to sell them to anyone over 15.  Why. This is the worst of both worlds.  Tights with the uncomfortable crotch and no feet!

And, by the way, leggings are just thicker (sometimes, sometimes they’re not even thicker) footless tights.  They also should not be worn by anyone over 15.  And they certainly should not be made in anything over a size medium because NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THAT CRAP! Really.  And once that image is in your head, it just won’t leave.  It’s an assault on my eyes.

I know, you’re all worried.  So, I did still wear my tiny skirt.  It’s cornflower blue with little white flowers and it’s short and bouncy.  It is way to cute to not wear.  But I had to wear it with some only ok brown tights.  Maybe I should design tights for adults.  Thigh high everything!


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