Conversations with Kids

I spent some time today with some assorted children, some mine some not.  The great thing about spending time with kids that aren’t my own is that I can leave when those kids get annoying.  Ah, the joys of someone else being the parent.

I really enjoyed riding in the car and hearing Thing 2’s friend sing Far East Movement’s Like a Cheesestick.  Apparently, cheesestick’s are really fly.

And when my nephew asked the waitress if the Superman ice cream really tasted like Superman.  Well, that’s pretty classic.  I should just start following these kids around with a notebook in my hand. Or maybe I should just start paying more attention when they talk. Sometimes, they make so much noise, it all turns into background music and I don’t catch a single thing but gosh, other times they are just hilarious.

When I feed my children and some spares (neighbor kids, hobos really.  We like to feed local street urchins, it makes us feel less guilty for all our excess – I hope you people get that I’m being sarcastic.  Sometimes I just don’t know) lunch and a 9 year old went into detail about her plans to leave wine and cheese for Santa with the purpose of getting him drunk.  I believe her goal was to unload the sleigh while Santa was sleeping it off.

What a funny thing.  Old enough to plot a drugging and a robbery and yet young enough to still believe in Santa.  It’s good to know she still has her innocence.  Well, at least she wasn’t swinging around the poles at the ice cream shop like those 2 little boys we saw.  After watching them for a while, I though 1) that I really should tip if I was going to continue to watch, 2) they were very far advanced in their career planning, 3) where the hell were their damn parents, 4) obviously they were going to end up as strippers because it’s clear their parents didn’t love them if they were swinging on these poles so hard, and one boy was climbing to the top, in the middle of a little old-fashioned ice cream shop for 10 minutes and not a single adult came by to fetch them.

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