My Monkey King is the best boyfriend ever.
There is not a single person or event that could boost my ego like my Monkey King can.
I’m looking through pictures on Go Fug Yourself and there’s a picture of Heidi Klum (this picture in particular, here, look). And my Monkey King tells me that I look like her. Oh, I wear lots of dresses and skirts that show lots of leg (like her), and I have long blonde hair (like her). But oh, I can only wish I was that tall and thin.
But, having people think I am is almost the same thing.
Every one needs a cheerleader. My Monkey is the best cheerleader. He tells me how beautiful I am all the time. Usually he says “Mama, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world”. And then he tells me that he’s going to marry me. Sigh.
He’s reading this as I write this. He says that I need to say “My Monkey King is beautiful too”. And he is.
The Monkey King should teach classes on how to treat women. He can say the cheesiest things but he means them. Actually, women are much safer if he doesn’t teach classes because the Monkey is impossible to resist. But maybe he could teach my husband.