Sexy Chick

I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful.

Apparently, David Guetta and Akon aren’t the only guys who have trouble with that.  It gets particularly difficult to do when you’re trying to say things to the actual girls.  So I thought I’d take a few minutes to give guys a couple of good and bad examples of what to do and say when you’re trying to impress a girl.  

  • yummified – good.  and really cute. but it depends how you say it. 
  • snapperlicious – bad, very, very bad
  • insanely hot – very, very good
  • yelling “nice ass” from a moving car – bad
  • commenting on a piece of jewelry or article of clothing I’m wearing to start a conversation – good
  • commenting on one of my naughty bits to start a conversation – bad
  • failing to make headway and being gracious enough to a) continue the conversation or b) walk away – good
  • after being rebuffed, asking if my mom is on facebook – bad
  • after being rebuffed, asking if my daughter is on facebook – very, very bad
  • calling me up to play &/or sing a song you’ve written for me – very good
  • serenading me in class while the professor is lecturing  – bad, and incredibly uncomfortable
  • buying me a drink – good
  • trying to follow me to my car – bad
  • walking into a wall because you can’t take your eyes off me – holy crap what a compliment why did you slink away embarrassed I would’ve totally talked to you!?!?! how cute and human and adorable.
  • telling me what you want to find/be with someone just like me – Ouch. Aside from implying that “me” is not good enough, you’re also indicating that I’m not unique or special but am interchangeable and replaceable. 
  • talking to me like I’m a human being – always a great thing
  • saying you’d do me. – Bad.  & of course you would, duh.  But I wouldn’t do you.
  • trying to use any kind of line – bad, no matter how clever you think it is a) I’ve most likely heard it before, b) you’re probably not that clever
  • comparing me to anyone else – do not do this EVER, even when it’s to tell me how much better I am.  I do not look like your ex-girlfriend/Reese Witherspoon/your stripper baby mama/your ex-wife.  & if she was smart enough to get outta there, what makes you think I’m down for your shit?
  • holding the door for me – good
  • trying to force me to take your business card – creepy
  • asking someone else to ask me if you can be my sugar daddy – BAD! Unless you have private island kind of money.  Then, have your manservant come ask me.  I have three kids to put through college and marry off. 

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