Working for the Weekend

We’ve had an extrordinary amount of turnover where I work.  Just scary turnover.  Out of 13 people in two departments, 4 people have been there less than a year.  4 more people have left or are leaving in the course of 3 months.  Let’s contemplate this.  That’s 8 of 13 people in a year.  Holy f$%^balls. 

Someone suggested that we roast our coworkers on their way out.  We figured that might keep people from being so eager to jump ship.  But I had a better idea (I always have a better idea). 

See, the coworker that left today, I decided he needed a bit more than a roast.  I figured that I would bring some Nerf bats, fill the guy’s pockets with candy and we could take turns beating him until all the candy came out.  Hanging him from the ceiling (or a basketball hoop, or whatever is available) is completely optional.  Although, having this dude strung up from the ceiling would have been brilliant. 

I laughed my butt off.  And so did my coworkers.  But even I could see how that might seem a little harsh.  So I had another awesome idea, not as good for relieving stress, but less likely to harm my soon-to-be-ex-coworker. 

I decided that I could bring in some hula hoops and we could use my coworker as a human ring toss. 

And my whiny coworker was offended.  I give and I give, providing these amazing ideas and offering to bring all the accessories in order to make these dreams reality. And what do I get in return? 

Well, I can tell you what I didn’t get.  I didn’t get any recreational enjoyment from this guy at all.  My coworkers and I could have really used this opportunity for team building.  And we were denied. 

Some people know how to suck all the fun out of the room.

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