We’ve had an extrordinary amount of turnover where I work. Just scary turnover. Out of 13 people in two departments, 4 people have been there less than a year. 4 more people have left or are leaving in the course of 3 months. Let’s contemplate this. That’s 8 of 13 people in a year. Holy f$%^balls.
Someone suggested that we roast our coworkers on their way out. We figured that might keep people from being so eager to jump ship. But I had a better idea (I always have a better idea).
See, the coworker that left today, I decided he needed a bit more than a roast. I figured that I would bring some Nerf bats, fill the guy’s pockets with candy and we could take turns beating him until all the candy came out. Hanging him from the ceiling (or a basketball hoop, or whatever is available) is completely optional. Although, having this dude strung up from the ceiling would have been brilliant.
I laughed my butt off. And so did my coworkers. But even I could see how that might seem a little harsh. So I had another awesome idea, not as good for relieving stress, but less likely to harm my soon-to-be-ex-coworker.
I decided that I could bring in some hula hoops and we could use my coworker as a human ring toss.
And my whiny coworker was offended. I give and I give, providing these amazing ideas and offering to bring all the accessories in order to make these dreams reality. And what do I get in return?
Well, I can tell you what I didn’t get. I didn’t get any recreational enjoyment from this guy at all. My coworkers and I could have really used this opportunity for team building. And we were denied.
Some people know how to suck all the fun out of the room.