Secretly Nutritious

Bad advertising pisses me off.

One of the most bizarre  tag lines/slogans I can remember is Rally’s “You Gotta Eat”.  Like “you’re gonna stuff something in your craw, might as well be this shit we serve”.

Well, one of my secret pleasures is Chef Boyardee (shhh, we need to keep that between us).  And their new advertising slogan is “obviously delicious, secretly nutritious.”  Seriously?  First, it’s food, it does provide nutrients.  But healthy, it is not.  And to me, something must be healthy to really be nutritious.  Secondly, if it’s nutritious, why do you need to be secretive about it?  It’s ok to come out of the closet.  I’ll be there for you.

How many people approve these awful slogans before the money is spent?   I must know. If these companies are so willing to flush that money down the toilet, give it to me instead.  I’ll at least send pictures of me doing amazing things with it.

Me in fabulous shoes.  Me eating beautiful food and drinking beautiful drinks.  Me in great outfits.  Me driving a beautiful car.  Me shaking my booty in a hip club.  Me on a beach. That’s going to be a lot more satisfying then seeing your company’s money being used in an awful ad campaign.

Chef Boyardee, call me.  You need my help.

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