Archive | August 2011

Bad Poetry Day 2011

Happy Bad Poetry Day again. I can’t believe it’s already been a year.

How could I let this day go buy without offering up a new poem? I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.



I’m too tired to think of what I should write

it has been quite a long night

I showered my cat,

(she is very fat)

and she really put up a fight.



I Got No Time for Living Man

My dad used to tell me “Sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck”.

And what the fuck indeed.

Yesterday, a colleague of mine was cleaning out an office for a potential new hire.  The previous occupant was one of those scary, crochety old guys.  There were very few occurrences in his life that he couldn’t turn into personal offenses.

Anyway, this dude was so petty and spiteful that he GLUED his nameplate into the holder.  Upon hearing this, I had to just stop for a solid thirty seconds to process this information.  What a complete douchebag.  He also spilled sugar or salt of something all over the inside of a file cabinet drawer and left one single business card on the desk.

The thing is, he took a new job.  He wasn’t laid off or fired.  This is what he did when he left the job on his own.  I can’t imagine what juvenile, hateful acts he would have committed had he been let go.  What a relief to be rid of a person who acts in that manner.


This same day I was interviewing a new college graduate for a professional job (science field).  One expects a certain level of professionalism from a scientist, particularly when this interview is at a very well respected company.  This girl 1) called 3 hours before her interview (the day before) saying that she didn’t realize she was all booked up, could we reschedule for the next day, 2) somehow couldn’t comprehend how to get in the security gate and wandered around outside for 15 minutes until I finally had to walk all the way out to get her, 3) wore tight, black jeans, knee-high, shit kicker boots, a black tank top, and green dangly skull earrings.    I have to repeat that because I had to say it aloud several times for the absurdity to be fully appreciated: green, dangly skull earrings.  To a job interview.  That wasn’t as a tattoo artist or a waitress at Melt or a stripper or a bartender at a biker bar or something.   I like to shop at Hot Topic just as much as the next edgy, hot chick.  But I don’t wear an entire Hot Topic ensemble to work at once.  And I already have the job. Dress to impress I guess.

I couldn’t finish the interview fast enough.  Oddly enough, I heard that she thought the interview went really well.  A girl who has a public facebook page that prominently says “no money, no job” but then has to reschedule the interview because “she’s booked up”, can’t comprehend the numerous signs or my verbal instructions on how to enter the facility, and comes to a prefessional interview dressed as though she’s going out clubbing is exactly the kind of girl I want working for me.  Dumb ass.  I suspect she will be looking for work for a long time.